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Pick Up Artist Sites

AlphaWolf and I have been working together for the past few months to put together an ebook called Seduce With Style which is a comprehensive guide to men’s style and attractive fashion.

It’s a really cool book, and I’m not saying that just because I helped write it. This book to me is the book that I wish I’d had when I first started getting into style and fashion. There are a lot of style websites, magazines, and books out there, but there’s nothing really comprehensive out there that builds you up from the ground up.

Seduce With Style does that. We basically assume that the reader knows absolutely nothing about style, and teach them everything they need to know, from the fundamentals all the way to the most advanced concepts. Plus, the book focuses specifically on attraction fashion, so you can put together a look that gets you results in your dating and pickup life.

Bottom line is I’m very proud of this book, and am excited to contribute this missing piece of the puzzle to the seduction community!

This girl was different, though. At the time I first started seeing her, I was also seeing other women, but gradually she started pushing for more and more exclusivity. And I caved to her demands, mostly because she was a lot more attractive than other girls I was seeing at the time, the kind of girl that turns heads and gets a lot of attention from guys.

Looking back though, I feel like I should never have let things get this far. If she couldn’t deal with me seeing other women, I should have just let her go. Instead I continued seeing her. And it was fun. The sex was good, and we had a lot of good times together, but lately I just haven’t been feeling it with her, and I decided it was time for this relationship to come to an end.

The actual breakup wasn’t too bad. I explained how I felt pretty calmly, without placing any blame on her, and let her know how I felt. She did get defensive a few times, but I used the I perspective to help diffuse any bad feelings, and kept from answering any questions that might have hurt her feelings (as per Dan’s advice). There were a few tears shed, but mostly we reminisced about the good times we had, and kept things very civil.

I hope that we can remain friends, especially since we share social circles and do see each other from time to time. The fact that we’re in the same social circle is one of the reasons I was initially hesitant to go out with her, but I’ve been in similar situations before, and have always regretted not having pulled the trigger. This time I decided I didn’t want to live with any regrets, and I think things worked out for the best.

Anyway, it was fun to have experienced being in a committed LTR for a while, but it’s time to move on. School starts again this week, which means there will be tons of cute girls hanging around campus. I’ve been back in school for a year now, and ironically, all of the girls that I’ve been with over the past year, I met outside of school. This semester I definitely want to work some college game, and build my social circle within school. Here’s to a new semester, and to cute freshmen girls!

The idea for the site came about when we were doing research for PUA Lingo, and discovered the amazing wealth of PUA content available online. There’s just so much content out there, and even though Alpha and I had been in the Game for years, there were a lot more PUA sites out there than either of us ever realized.

The SeductionList is our attempt at collecting all the PUA websites into a single, easy to use directory. On the site, we feature all the sites we’ve found in easy to navigate categories. We also have user ratings, so that people can rate the sites, so that it’s easy to find the best content available on the web. The site also features a blog, where we plan on doing in-depth site profiles as well as top 10 lists of various PUA sites.

So far, we’ve collected a little over 400 PUA sites, but we’re just scratching the surface. Over the coming weeks and months we’ll be adding hundreds more, and if there’s a site you like that’s not listed, you can also submit it to us directly.

Hopefully you’ll find the SeductionList to be a useful resource on your journey to being a PUA, and I’m looking forward to cataloging all the great sites that are out there.

Update: Now listed on DMOZ!

The movie’s main plot revolves around a guy who’s getting married, who has a lot of female friends, but not a lot of guy friends, who goes out to find himself some guy friends so he can have a best man for his wedding.

The movie was hilarious, and I found myself relating a lot to the main protagonist.  Looking at my own relationships, I have a lot more close female friends than I do guy friends.  Just today I went out to eat lunch with one of my close female friends, and I’ve gone out dancing with at least three different female friends in the past week.

I don’t like sports, I don’t consider myself very loud and raucous, and I don’t do a lot of stereotypically “male” activities.  Maybe it’s because of a childhood growing up with my mom and my sister, because my dad was never around, and because my dad was such a poor role-model that I wanted to be nothing like him when I grew up.  Or maybe it’s because I somehow picked up through social conditioning that acting masculine and sexual is somehow “wrong”.

Whatever the reason, I can relate a lot to the caricatured portrayal of a man with no strong male relationships, as portrayed in the movie.  Being a man raised by women, and unsure of the proper way to be a man, and how to express one’s masculinity is also a common theme within the PUA community.

How does the modern man behave?  What is his relationship with women, and with other men?  How does he balance his masculinity, with his respect for femininity?  These are some of the questions I have been asking myself, and it was good to be reminded of them in this great movie.

Anyway, one of the things that was unique about the movie was that in several scenes, they show the the manhood of Dr. Manhattan, one of the superheroes in the movie, who parades around naked for most of the film.

Dr Manhattan - Full Frontal

The reaction from the audience to the Blue Man’s penis was very amusing.  The first time the penis made an appearance on screen, there were whispers and hushed mutterings all throughout the packed theater.  “Was that…?”  “Did they just show….?”  “No they wouldn’t, would they?”

After the first few times, it was pretty clear to everyone, that yes, they were indeed staring at a big blue swinging dick, and everytime Dr. Manhattan appeared on screen naked, there would be a few uncomfortable laughs, and some nervous giggling from a group of girls at the front of the theater.

Now I have to admit, I felt a little embarassed about watching Dr. Manhattan’s penis myself.  When I first realized what I was watching, I could feel my cheeks heating up in embarassment, and I worried about what everyone else was going to think of such a blatant disregard of social norms.

This reaction surprised me, since I grew up in Japan, where depicting male genitalia in the media is more accepted than it is here in the US.  I consider myself pretty liberal when it comes to sexuality, and I am not easily offended, but there I was in the movie theater, blushing over a computer generated penis on some fictional superhero.

It just goes to show what a powerful influence the culture and the society that we grow up in have on our beliefs.  Although I had a pretty liberal upbringing, with very open-minded parents, somewhere along the way I picked up the meme that sexuality is something to be ashamed of, that the penis is something to be embarrassed about and hidden away.

That moment in the movie theater helped to remind me what a powerful effect our beliefs have on the way we act, and the importance of installing more empowering beliefs as I explore the ideas of the seduction communtiy and the boundaries of my own sexuality.

This thought really struck home for me today at my Mastermind group’s weekly meeting, where we did an exercise where we wrote down our ultimate goals in the area of business and relationships.  In some areas, I felt like I am making strides, but in others, I feel like I’m starting to slip.  My main takeaways:

1) I need to focus more on school.  Several members of the group talked about how they were struggling in school, and I can relate.  I’ve had a very busy social life lately, going out nearly every day of the week, and while I feel that’s positive development, I feel like the balance in my life has shifted towards too much socializing, and not enough studying.  Listening to what others in the group said about studying has given me renewed motivation to focus on my studies, and get back on track in school.

2) I waste too much time online.  We opened the meeting with a video of Tim Ferris, and I was reminded again that I spend too much time reading articles on me RSS feed reader.  While the articles are often interesting, there’s no way I can ingest the amount of content that I do and make any meaningful changes in my life, and I also end up wasting hours and hours consuming content, instead of producing it.

I think partly this is a symptom of larger problems.  Usually, I tend to seek the distractions of info porn when I’m feeling stressed or uncertain about the future.  Probably some of the stress is due to falling behind in school, and others are caused by worrying about all the other things that are going on with my life.  I’ve quit reading my feeds cold turkey (except when I’m not at home), so I can start taking positive actions instead of just distracting me from the worries of life.

3) I’m starting to backslide on some areas of my life, like communication skills.  For a while, this was a big priority of mine, and I worked on things like tonality, projection, conversations skills, etc., but lately I feel like I’m falling back into old, comfortable, and dysfunctional habits.

What to do?  I need to think more on this one.  I definitely want to take another acting class– possibly next semester, or the next.  Or maybe I can take an improv class with other guys in the group outside class.  I need to project my voice more.  I need to speak up more in group conversations.

Anyway, I have a lot to work on, but it’s nice to regain focus and bring these things back into my consciousness again.  It’s one of the many benefits of being a part of a Mastermind group.

My latest addition to my wardrobe are two pairs of designer jeans that I picked up off of Ebay.  One is a pair of Seven for All Manking jeans with a dark blue wash and white stitching, and the other is a dark blue pair of Chip & Pepper jeans with a light brown wash.

I have to say I am very pleased with the jeans so far.  The Chip & Pepper’s especially were quite a find for only $50 (they retail for about $170), and I really like the style and color of the jeans.  At first I felt the jeans were a little tight, but after wearing it for a while, I’ve found them to be just perfect, and they look really great on me.  The Sevens are also very nice, but don’t fit in quite as well into my wardrobe as the Chip & Peppers.  Plus the jeans ride up a little on my crotch, which is a little annoying.

Both of the jeans are a tad too long for me (I feel short now), so I had to get them hemmed at a tailoring shop that does custom alterations.  I have to say I am very happy with the results, and am looking forward to getting more of my clothes fitted for me in the future.

I’m pretty happy with the jeans, and though I might look for another pair or two in different styles to round out my collection, I think I am pretty happy in this department for now.  I think the next step for me is to start looking for a cool blazer that I can wear over my outfits when I go out at night.  I could also use some new shoes, as well as some more cool accessories to compliment my outfits.

Those are the three areas that I feel I need to improve on the most, to take my style to the next level.  If I can round these areas out, and continue to develop and improve my image over the next few months, I’ll be looking like a brand new man by the end of the year.

My dancing is coming along, and I feel like I am improving quite a bit as a member of a dance performance team.  I’ve found that the best way for me to make an improvement in an area of my life or to learn a new skill is to take a class.  Having that social accountability and regular schedule helps keep me practicing regularly and making constant improvements.

However, I do want to work more on growing my skills outside of class as well.  I set a 30 day challenge for myself in January to practice spins everyday, with mixed results.  It took me a while to get started because of all the fear of uncertainty holding me back.  Then, once I got started it took me a while to get into the groove, and put together a routine that makes sense, and then fitting it into my schedule.  Then I got seriously sick for about a week and a half, during which I didn’t feel like much of anything.

Now that school has started again, and my schedule is starting to stabilize, I think I will give it another shot.  I commit to practicing spins everyday for the month of February, after I get home from school everyday.

School is going good so far.  I have a set of really tough classes this semester, but I am hanging in there.  So far I have been doing pretty well with my studying, and have beeen keeping up with my classes.  I could work on improving my consistency with this, but I’m off to a good start.

Speaking of classes, I am taking a dance class this semester on Thursday mornings to break up my busy schedule.  There are a lot of cute girls in the class, and I’m pretty confident that I’m one of the best dancers in the class.  There’s also a girl in the class that LJBF’d me a couple years back, but has been throwing me some mad IOIs lately.  I’ve slept with pretty much all of my dance partners in the past, so this should be interesting.

On the style front I’ve made some improvements to my wardrobe as well.  I have a couple of jeans I ordered online coming in pretty soon, so I’ll do a separate post on that.

Beyond that, I also launched my new website PUA Lingo this month, which is starting to get some pretty good traffic.

Overall, January has been a very productive month, and I feel I am on the right track to making some major improvements in my life in 2009.

Before we started the website, we looked around to see what other resources were out there, and found them to be lacking.  While there are a couple sites out there, most of them only have a few dozen words (mostly from the Mystery Method) and the definitions are pretty brief.  Our goal was to create a site with detailed definitions, with links to some of the best resources available for each definition.

So far we’ve collected nearly 400 terms, and we feel like we’re just beginning to scratch the surface.  I’ve learned a lot about the seduction community researching all these words, and hopefully the site will serve as a valuable resource that others will find valuable as well.