I Love You Man

I just saw the movie “I Love You Man”, and it was surprisingly good.  I haven’t laughed so hard in a movie theater in quite some time.

The movie’s main plot revolves around a guy who’s getting married, who has a lot of female friends, but not a lot of guy friends, who goes out to find himself some guy friends so he can have a best man for his wedding.

The movie was hilarious, and I found myself relating a lot to the main protagonist.  Looking at my own relationships, I have a lot more close female friends than I do guy friends.  Just today I went out to eat lunch with one of my close female friends, and I’ve gone out dancing with at least three different female friends in the past week.

I don’t like sports, I don’t consider myself very loud and raucous, and I don’t do a lot of stereotypically “male” activities.  Maybe it’s because of a childhood growing up with my mom and my sister, because my dad was never around, and because my dad was such a poor role-model that I wanted to be nothing like him when I grew up.  Or maybe it’s because I somehow picked up through social conditioning that acting masculine and sexual is somehow “wrong”.

Whatever the reason, I can relate a lot to the caricatured portrayal of a man with no strong male relationships, as portrayed in the movie.  Being a man raised by women, and unsure of the proper way to be a man, and how to express one’s masculinity is also a common theme within the PUA community.

How does the modern man behave?  What is his relationship with women, and with other men?  How does he balance his masculinity, with his respect for femininity?  These are some of the questions I have been asking myself, and it was good to be reminded of them in this great movie.


Dr Manhattan’s Big Blue Penis

So I caught the midnight showing of Watchmen last night with a couple of my friends.  It was a great movie, very faithful to the original, and I would recommend anyone who hasn’t seen it yet to check it out.

Anyway, one of the things that was unique about the movie was that in several scenes, they show the the manhood of Dr. Manhattan, one of the superheroes in the movie, who parades around naked for most of the film.

Dr Manhattan - Full Frontal

Dr Manhattan - Full Frontal

The reaction from the audience to the Blue Man’s penis was very amusing.  The first time the penis made an appearance on screen, there were whispers and hushed mutterings all throughout the packed theater.  “Was that…?”  “Did they just show….?”  “No they wouldn’t, would they?”

After the first few times, it was pretty clear to everyone, that yes, they were indeed staring at a big blue swinging dick, and everytime Dr. Manhattan appeared on screen naked, there would be a few uncomfortable laughs, and some nervous giggling from a group of girls at the front of the theater.

Now I have to admit, I felt a little embarassed about watching Dr. Manhattan’s penis myself.  When I first realized what I was watching, I could feel my cheeks heating up in embarassment, and I worried about what everyone else was going to think of such a blatant disregard of social norms.

This reaction surprised me, since I grew up in Japan, where depicting male genitalia in the media is more accepted than it is here in the US.  I consider myself pretty liberal when it comes to sexuality, and I am not easily offended, but there I was in the movie theater, blushing over a computer generated penis on some fictional superhero.

It just goes to show what a powerful influence the culture and the society that we grow up in have on our beliefs.  Although I had a pretty liberal upbringing, with very open-minded parents, somewhere along the way I picked up the meme that sexuality is something to be ashamed of, that the penis is something to be embarrassed about and hidden away.

That moment in the movie theater helped to remind me what a powerful effect our beliefs have on the way we act, and the importance of installing more empowering beliefs as I explore the ideas of the seduction communtiy and the boundaries of my own sexuality.

Regaining Focus

Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, we start to lose focus on our ultimate purpose.  I feel like that’s been the case for me lately, with all the distractions and obligations of school, work, and everything else keeping me from really focusing on my personal growth.

This thought really struck home for me today at my Mastermind group’s weekly meeting, where we did an exercise where we wrote down our ultimate goals in the area of business and relationships.  In some areas, I felt like I am making strides, but in others, I feel like I’m starting to slip.  My main takeaways:

1) I need to focus more on school.  Several members of the group talked about how they were struggling in school, and I can relate.  I’ve had a very busy social life lately, going out nearly every day of the week, and while I feel that’s positive development, I feel like the balance in my life has shifted towards too much socializing, and not enough studying.  Listening to what others in the group said about studying has given me renewed motivation to focus on my studies, and get back on track in school.

2) I waste too much time online.  We opened the meeting with a video of Tim Ferris, and I was reminded again that I spend too much time reading articles on me RSS feed reader.  While the articles are often interesting, there’s no way I can ingest the amount of content that I do and make any meaningful changes in my life, and I also end up wasting hours and hours consuming content, instead of producing it.

I think partly this is a symptom of larger problems.  Usually, I tend to seek the distractions of info porn when I’m feeling stressed or uncertain about the future.  Probably some of the stress is due to falling behind in school, and others are caused by worrying about all the other things that are going on with my life.  I’ve quit reading my feeds cold turkey (except when I’m not at home), so I can start taking positive actions instead of just distracting me from the worries of life.

3) I’m starting to backslide on some areas of my life, like communication skills.  For a while, this was a big priority of mine, and I worked on things like tonality, projection, conversations skills, etc., but lately I feel like I’m falling back into old, comfortable, and dysfunctional habits.

What to do?  I need to think more on this one.  I definitely want to take another acting class– possibly next semester, or the next.  Or maybe I can take an improv class with other guys in the group outside class.  I need to project my voice more.  I need to speak up more in group conversations.

Anyway, I have a lot to work on, but it’s nice to regain focus and bring these things back into my consciousness again.  It’s one of the many benefits of being a part of a Mastermind group.