Reflections

As the hour grows later, and I prepare to spend the rest of the evening partying away until the New Year, I take a few minutes to reflect on the past year.

Warning: long, navel-gazing post ahead!

The Key to Success

Recently I stumbled accross an article by Tyler Durden called Implementing a Habit, which talks about what I feel is one of the keys to success in pickup, and in life– being able to implement new habits.  Really, that’s all there is to it.  If you can set clear goals, and create new habits designed to develop the skills necessary to achieve those goals, you can achieve anything you want in life.

That’s one of the things I’ve learned through my study of pickup— the importance of habits.  We become what we repeatedly do, or to quote John Dryden: “We first make our habits, and then our habits make us.” Whether its working out to build a stronger body, or practicing to build a stronger skillset, consistency is the key to ever getting good at anything.

In all the areas in life that I feel I improved in in the past year, I was able to do so by turning it into a habit, by making it a regular part of my life. I feel like I was able to accomplish most of my major goals from the past year, and as I move into a new year, I plan on coming up with a new set of goals, as well as a new set of strategies to build the habits that I need to succeed in reaching those goals.

How To Tie A Scarf

So the blog Kinowear just came out with an article on 9 ways how to tie a scarf, which is great because I recently purchased my first two scarves ever.  One of them is a short, light-colored, faux burberry scarf and the other is a long bright orange scarf, and I have been playing around with different ways of wearing them.

My friend Joe showed me how to tie the Slip Knot, and I’ve figured out how to do the Ascot and the Drape just from watching others, but the other styles of tying scarves are new to me.  I’ve been having the hardest time finding articles on how to tie scarves online, so this is a great find for me.  I can’t wait to wear my scarf to work tomorrow with one of these new knots.  I think I may go with the Twice Around Ascot.

Jewelry Update

So the jewelry that I ordered arrived a couple weeks ago, and so far I’m very happy with the pieces that I got. I’ve been mixing the different necklaces to go with different shirts that I own, and I really like how the pieces contribute to make my overall look more interesting. Even a plain t-shirt and jeans is more interesting when there’s a necklace draped over it.

The necklaces have received a lot of attention from women as well. It’s amazing how women can notice even a small detail like a silver charm hanging from my neck. All of my female friends seem to immediately pick-up on the necklaces, and even with strangers, I can think of a half-a-dozen instances in this past week alone where the subject of my jewelry came up with women I’d just met. It’s been a great way to share something about myself and keep the conversation going.

With the success of my necklaces, I also tried ordering a cool-looking stainless steel & rubber bracelet off of eBay. Unfortunately, after trying it on, I found that it was a little too big for my wrist. I will have to experiment more with wrist bracelets to figure out what works for me. This is all still very new territory for me, but it’s fun trying out new things and figuring out what does and doesn’t work.

Mutual Attraction

Have you ever noticed how the women that you are the most attracted to seem to respond the best to you?

I think I read an article a few years ago on some dating site that cited some biological reason for us being attracted the most to the women who also find us attractive, and I didn’t really believe it at the time, but as I go along this journey, I’ve found this more and more to be true.

Just the other night, I met a girl out dancing, whom I really connected with.  I remember noticing her immediately as she walked into the venue, and feeling the rush of anxiety and nervousness that I get around attractive women, and later on, when I got to know her better, she revealed that she had noticed me immediately as well.

Maybe the mutual attraction comes from my mind picking up on IOIs at a subconscious level that makes the girl more attractive to me, or maybe my attraction unconsiously changes my subcommunication, which in turn makes her more attractive to me.  Or conversely, maybe it is my negative pre-judgements of women I don’t find attractive that dampens their reactions to me, or my mind finds a way to make disinterested women less attractive to me to protect my ego.  Or maybe there is something biological to the whole process.

Whatever the reason, it’s just another reminder to myself to not waste my time “practicing” on women I find less attractive, that some in the community might consider “easier” targets, because when it comes to attraction, just the opposite could be true.